Welcome to ME!  My very own Blog. Funfunfunfun. 'Cause we Corgis are all about fun. And gossip. And happenings in the neighborhood.

FINN

September 12, 2008
Mom and I have been having fun lately. Lots of tug 'o war games. I have finally gotten the hang of it. I used to just hold the rope in my mouth and stare up at her and now I am SUPER STRONG and can pull her off her feet...hee hee.
But she does not mind. She also doesn't mind running in the rain with me on long walks either. She doesn't mind when I jump up on her with muddy paws. Or when I pull her in the opposite direction from which she wants to go because the scent of another dog beckons to me. She just laughs. If she was a dog she would be perfect. She doesn't think so....but this is my blog so she doesn't get a choice in the matter.

Now....if I could only understand why she wants me to play "Fetch". Anyone know this one? She says this word to me and then throws the toy away from us. Yes. Away from us. Incomprehensible. So I sit and stare up at her, trying to be as patient as possible....after all, sometimes bipeds are a little bit slow....they have dreadful
nose-sight and even worse hearing....and we won't even discuss their eyesight. I simply have to imagine that she is having difficulty reading the message I am sending to her in my gaze. Eventually she runs off and gets the toy and brings it back. But before I can grab for it she does this whole, bizarre "fetch" thing again. I'm worried about her. Has she forgotten I am a Corgi? A hilltop sentry. A herder. A protector of baby lambs and willful sheep.....sigh. I do not do "fetch".

Is there a Retriever in the house?

July 24, 2008
One should never disparage one's mother when she is the one typing your blog. This is all I am allowed to say today. Poo.

July 20, 2008
I AM FAMOUS!! I told all of you that I should be famous, remember? Well! The Bipeds finally took notice! I was on television with Dave Nemeth on his morning show Daytime! He has interviewed BIG stars like...um,...some lady who is called Demi Moore...oh and others...but who cares? He interviewed MEMEME! And I am cuter than all those other biped movie stars! I have the best Corgi Bunny Butt in the whole wide world! I could be in Movies next! Who knows? Offer me a Pupperoni and I will learn anything you need me to learn. (I learned how to High Five in only 3 tries....see? I have talent!)

Mom is giving me The Look and making a wisecrack about how I still seem to be having difficulty learning that the game is called FETCH...not KEEP.

Ignore her.
She doesn't know what she is talking about  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

July 12, 2008
June was a tough month for me. I lost my first Bestest friend. Katie Hepburn. The brown eyed girl with the pretty long legs. She lived next door. She played with me each week. And we used to leave one another Sniff Mails at the edge of her front lawn. Then one night I sniffed and there was no message. I looked up at Mom in a panic and she sat down and told me how Katie got really, really sick and had to go to a place where she could be healthy and young and happy again. She also told me that Katie would be waiting for me so that one day, when I have to leave, I would have a friend waiting for me so that I would not feel so alone.

So. I was pretty sad for a long time. I kept checking for Sniff Mails each night, just in case Mom was wrong....well, you know how it is...I am a teenager now in Biped years and as such I am accustomed to thinking that my Mom and Dad are wrong about everything.

But this time, Mom was right. I was quiet for a long, long time. And I had to do my best to be especially adorable for Aunt Donna and Uncle Jerry, since their hearts were broken and they needed a lot of extra love. But I know that my Bestest Friend Katie is waiting for all of us to come play with her some day. I cannot wait to see her again, tail wagging, mouth open in her big wide laugh, dancing in circles...it will be so much fun to play with her again.

I like to think in terms of possibilities ;-)

May 8, 2008
Whispering: We are a bit concerned today, Dad and I....Mom did not sleep last night and now she is in the kitchen swigging back cuploads of coffee and whipping up those wax tart thingies to put my photograph on....and she isn't grumpy.
Nope. Not cranky. Not moody. Not b----y. (Sorry, no bad words allowed ;-)
What is goin' on? Why is she being so...so...pleasant??
This does not bode well. I want cranky mommy back! At least then I can tear around her ankles barking wildly and herd her into the hallway wall....and she will start laughing
and get down on the floor and give me belly rubs and then she isn't cranky anymore. I mean...THAT IS HOW IT IS SUPPOSED TO WORK! I HAVE A SPECIFIC ROLE TO PLAY!!

God in heaven! How do you bipeds expect a sensible dog to learn anything if you keep switching up your behavior patterns? It is very confusing to a small animal such as myself. I am a creature of habit, you know. Capricorn rising in my 7th House or some crap like that.  I crave order! I need purpose! Everything must have its place in the universe. If anything is unaligned for even a nanosecond then everything could go to hell in a handbasket in a big furry hurry, my friends! In the blink of an eye my chew bone could go missing! It happens that fast when someone steps outside the normal and accepted behavior patterns of my routine!! Me! It is ALL ABOUT ME!

Well. She's humming now. I just do not know what to make of this. I am going to have to get some pupperoni treats and do some refresher training with her about my expectations of her behavior!!

ohmygod she just burst into song. Dad? Dad? DAAAAAADDDYYY!!!

April 6, 2008
I am a very busy Corgi. Not much time to paw at this keyboard lately. Had to break in a new leash. Spent some time checking out a new dog park but decided it was a bit dull. Had a problem with  my left hip recently so I got some cool meds....now me and grandpa have something in common!! We both walk slow. Hee hee....you thought I was going to say that we are both hooked on Vicodin, didn't you? Naw! None of that! We ARE both hooked on snacks though...I LOVE SNACKS!! But Mom won't give me more than one doggy snack a day. She says we have to keep my weight from "fluc-choo-ate-Ting". (What the hell kind of word is that?) Just gimme the Dog Biscuit, woman, and have done with the uber-intellectualism!

The people on the corner painted their house Petpto-Bismal Pink...according to Mom. Well...I do not know what "Pepto Bismal" is but the house is rather startling. And ugly. I must say...even I, a lover of things smelly and ugly, things that make you bipeds wrinkle your noses in disgust and go "euuuww"....even I am horrified by this house. And a man keeps coming out the front door, yacking on one of those things you folks call a cell phone. A man with a big beer belly living in a pink house. A busy man...too busy to notice that the color of his house looks like sickness medication. Intriguing, no?

Rumination for the day: Why do bipeds insist on painting their homes tacky colors that scream "Bargain Basement Paint Sale at the Hardware Store!!"

A prissy cat might like to live in that house.

Paws Out, my friends!

February 28, 2008
I am a tad bit miffed. Closets have been emptied of winter coats and scarves and odd looking five-fingered paw coverings. Mom and Dad are going away and they are LEAVING ME BEHIND!!! There shall be great HOWLS OF ANGUISH erupting from this house!!! I shall HEAVE my body against the door as they close it behind them!! I shall WAIL and BARK and WHINE and SOB and/...what? Beg pardon?.....Grandpa is coming to stay with me? Really? And he will have treats?

Grandpa and treats. Well. Certainly this requires a bit of reconsideration on my part. Perhaps this howling business is a touch too melodramatic for the occasion? After all, my parents WILL be coming back. They are not really leaving me abandoned to the four winds of fate....hmmm..maybe I could just let out a few whimpers of sorrow for effect so that Mom and Dad feel like they will be properly missed....THEN I can scamper over to grandpa and that bag of peanut butter dog biscuits and we can snuggle on the couch and watch a cool movie on the TV until we both fall into a Treat Stupor.....what a great way to spend a weekend!! Wooo Hoo!!!

February 20, 2008
My sniffles are all gone! But the bipedal parental units have been so busy selling my photo (with those funny little candles attached) that they have not been able to take me to the dog park. I am feeling a little pissy about this state of affairs. I mean, don't they know that their world is supposed to revolve around mine and not vice versa?

I am languishing in Corgi Boredom.
Have you ever seen a bored Corgi? Or heard us? We pout. Loudly. Lots of harumphing. And we keep our big brown eyes fixated upon you....scorching you with remorse.....yeah...we got the whole guilt trip thingy down pretty good. Well, we have to. Sometimes you bipeds just don't get our need for speed...and freedom to sniff new dogs....

Ho Hum. HO HUM!!!
Somebody send Pupperoni Treats. Quick. 
I need resuscitating.

February 7, 2008
I hab a code in duh node. ACHOOOO!!!
Mbobby steams me evweyday. Add I gots pwills tuh swalloh. I'mba stuff-ed upp in mah node. SNOOORT!!
No fweinds allowed tuh pway wid me.
I sowd reedickulus, huh??
Goin' back tuh bed.

Lub tuh all ub you,

Me.

January 20, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MOI! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MOI! I am two today! TWO! In biped years I am 14. Heavy stuff. I got to smooch my girlfriend Luna, today. And I saw Max from across the street! And I have homemade peanut butter cookies!!

And I think Uncle Hal is coming over to watch football with dad! (What IS that? Foot-ball? Bipeds crashing into each other and grunting. Looks like dog wreslting but we don't wear all those strange padded bits). I LOVE UNCLE HAL! He pets me. And gives me chin scratches. Yup. It has been a funfunfunfun Day! 

Gotta go. Mom says the cookies are cool enough to eat now! She's gonna sing happy birthday to me....I love being made much of!! Wheeee!
 
January 16, 2008
Well. I had a really bad experience at the dog park. There was an oversized dog in the small dog section of the park (where I get to go 'cause I am only 26 pounds, dontcha know) and this dog kept bullying me. He kept rolling me over and biting me on the back. Dad politely asked the dog's owner to take control of his dog because I was scared, but the man said "Ahhh, that's just how he plays." Another lady in the park came forward to help Mom pull the dog off me as well when she saw how out of hand the he was getting.

So Dad suggested to the man that perhaps his dog really needed to be in the big dog park because he obviously was much bigger (can you say at least 50lbs???) than the small dogs and he was being overly aggressive. The owner got angry with Dad and started to approach him in a way that made Mom suggest that we just leave...which I was very happy to do because I was really anxious. My ears were down, man! I mean, every time I tried to go run with two of my Corgi buddies, this big dog made a beeline straight for me and tackled me to the ground and started chewing on me and growling in an angry tone that every self respecting dog knows was not a play tone. It was very scary. He was too big for me and I could not get up.

Mom was frustrated that the man seemed so proud of how aggressive his dog was and could not understand why he simply did not step in and take control of his pet.
I wanted to tell her that we dogs often reflect the behavior of our biped owners. I sat on her lap on the ride home and smiled at her, thinking about how that biped and his aggressive dog were obviously like two peas in a pod.

I don't like peas. BARK!@

January 14, 2008
So last month Mom was too busy to scribe my column for me which kinda made me grumpy. But she kept giving me treats to soothe my ruffled ruff...so that was ok. 
Thus far 2008 has been somewhat uneventful for me. A new girl dog moved in across the street...but she doesn't like me much. Probably had a bad break-up and hates all boy dogs right now....oh well. I know that I will eventually get her to fall in love me. Sigh. It is inevitable. 'Cause I am nothing if not charming.

I have been loving the dog park!! I have two new Corgi pals, Emma and Ollie...they are teaching me how to do Fence Runs with the Tall Dogs on the other side of the park. I like getting dirty. Makes me feel All Boy...less Neutral...if you know what I mean. Mom is making more things to put my photo on which I adore since it means more people will be able to have the opportunity to see me and love me. I love being loved.

I'm very affectionate, you know.

November 22
Happy FAT BELLY DAY!!!
I am giving thanks today for TURKEY & YAMS!!! YAMS! YAMS! YAMS! I really Thank Dog on bended knee...well, wait a sec, I can't really perform that particular move...hmmm...I thank Dog with a big old high five paw for making bipeds decide on celebrating a holiday just for eating.
 
Yup. Stuffing myself to bursting so that the only possible movement is that of rolling over onto my side for a good long nap...with lots of Corgi snoring....and then coming out of the Corgi Coma just in time for some extra turkey snacks...while the bipeds eat that gross pumpkin pie. Eeeueuuuuw. However...I will admit that if one of them decides to fill my food dish with homemade whipped cream I would be very, very happy.
I LOVE WHIPPED CREAM.

Shhh. Mom doesn't know. She also doesn't know about the potato chip "incident" with grandpa a few weeks ago. Tee hee. I looooove potato chips!

Ever since I became neutral I have just wanted to climb onto laps and be fed and have my back scratched. Mom said not to worry about these changes, it just means I am now a "real man"...whatever that means. I am hoping that one of these days she will teach me how to use the TV remote....

October 24
Just wanted to report in that DOG PARKS ROCK MY WORLD!!!
Apparently, now that I am "neutral", I can run free with all of these cute girl Puggles and Beagles and Terriers, etc., etc., without mom getting nervous in the service....I guess I was getting a little too humpy with anything that would stand still....mom's right leg, hedges, the cat. Mom and dad thought it was best to wait until there was no chance for me to even remotely and accidentally make "offspring". Not that I know what the heck an "offspring" even is....sort of like an offshoot of me I suppose...maybe only hairier? See? See? See how confused I get by all these big biped words?

But the dog park is beeeee uuuuuu tea full!! ohmigod. Can I just give a Woof out to the folks who keep all the water buckets filled and the grass trimmed just right...WOW...all that grass to roll my itchy back on....and treeeeeeeessss on a hot day. We dogs love trees. And dirt. Did I tell you how dirty I got? My mom was laughing when I came up out of a puddle and my white ruff was....not white. She laughed and laughed and said I was now officially a teenager...well, I AM almost two you know! 14 in biped years.

Dad ran with me and showed me the size of the place and let me scamper in between his feet and be all uncertain when this ginormous golden retriever wanted to sniff my...well, you know....my private place! I HATE it when dogs want to do that.
You may not have picked up on this but I'm actually quite a sensitive little guy. Particular, you might say, about who gets to say "hello" to me.

Well. I have had a busy day today and it is just about time for me to put it down on a dog bed and practice my corgi snoring.
(Mom hates it when I snore but loves me too much to wake me up...so she drinks a lot of "joe" in the morning.)

Who is Joe anyway? And why does he taste good to so many bipeds?


October 2
I would like to report a theft. Is anyone taking notes? Good. Because this is a wee bit distressing to have to admit....MY NUTS ARE MISSING! Dr. B was leaning over me smiling one moment and the next....well, let's just say that things feel considerably "breezier" down below. Why oh why did I ever trust that woman?? What was I thinking? Anyone with pointy objects that get poked into me should NEVER EVER be trusted....no matter how many treats she lures me with....although I must admit the organic cookies she gave me were pretty yummylicious...see? Food gets me all off track! I wanna know what the heck happened to my little huevos!!? And why are all my girlfriends giving me funny looks? And why is mom calling me "Neutral"? Why can't anyone speak in Bark? AGGGHHH!
 
I am decidedly displeased.

However, I am happy to report that my pouncing exercises are proceeding extraordinarily well. The Geckos live in absolute terror of me. I adore this. And I can now pounce with all four paws in the air at the very same time. Can any other Corgi do that? I think not! I think that I am the only one with this Super Power!! Pounce! Pounce! Pounce! I really need to look into getting a cape.....

In the meantime, if you see my little huevos anywhere, could you let me know? Thanx.

August 29
I just got THE BIGGEST chew bone in the whole, wide world. I carry it everywhere. (I got stuck trying to go through a doorway. It's THAT big!!) I am not ready to chew it yet. I just want to
be certain that mom won't change her mind and try to take it back. I hide it sometimes. Under the bed. In the laundry. Sometimes I lie on top of it. She laughs at me and says something in her incomprehensible biped language....but then she scratches the top of my head and I looooove being scratched there...it kinda makes me all woozy in the knees....and I forget....
....................................................................................
...................oh. The bone. Yeah. Wow. See what I mean about the head scratching? Get your mom to scratch you on your head, man. It's the best. Drool inducing.

I am a busy and important dog this weekend. I now have to break in this gignormous, monstrous, humongous bone and who knows how long that will take; I have some serious Gecko Pouncing and herding to accomplish, AND I must have a little mirror time to check out my handsome self. Oh, and mom is washing all my bedding so that I can take plenty of naps when I get too "Xausted"....what that means I am not certain. But I love naps. And chicken. And YAMS!!! Mom bought me a YAMMMMMMMMM for dinner tonight. Wow. She really loves me. I might just need to give her extra face lickings when she is doing her sit-up thingys....she seems to like it when I do that. It makes her giggle. A lot.

Well...gotta go. Time to get started on this Power Bone.

August 15
Well. Ft. Myers was a lot of fun per the father figure biped. Lots of super nice folks stopped by to admire my photo and chat up dad. He said he had a great time. This weekend he is off to West Palm Beach. I am a bit miffed, I must say. He spends a lot of time hanging out with other people when I really want him home playing "Chase" with me. I loooooove when we play Chase. 'Cause I get to be the one who runs in front. And boy do I make 'em run fast. Its really fun to look back over my shoulder while I am running and just flash my wicked little corgi grin at dad. He knows I'm laughing at him and he says stuff in his biped language which I
am probably better off not knowing ;-)

Mom chases me too. But I like it when dad is home so I can get double the chasing in on a daily basis. (I mean, these two really need the workouts, ok?) Besides, when dad is home he gives me these really terrrrrrific back scratches. Although, I guess it is good that mom stays home with me. She brushes me and pets me and I like it best when she helps me settle down in bed every night. She really loves me lots. I like that. Hmmm. I just like being adored. Period. Woof.

August 8
Hey everyone, just a note to let you know my Dad is going to be selling my photo (you know, the one with the attached candles?)
in Ft. Myers this weekend. So WOOF! If you are in that area stop in at the Lee Civic Center and have a look around. Dad loves to talk about me to all of my adoring fans....and he can show off the new scents my mom just added to the line.

Hmmm. I do believe I just saw a Gecko in need of a bit of POUNCING! Ohboyohboyohboy. Gotta shake 'n bake baby!!

August 1
Sorry to have been out of the blogging loop. You know how it is. Places to go, people and pets to sniff. Besides, I had an eye boo boo so I decided to just lie about the house doing my "SleepingBaby Seal" pose to squeeze the maximum amount of sympathy out of mom and dad. 

By the by, what is this NEED my bipeds have to teach me their language? Mom is sooo funny when she says "Heel, Finn." I just laugh and laugh and laugh at her. We Corgis are experts at laughing at bipeds. It is all in the eyes, man. All in the eyes. Now, don't get me wrong. I know the good words like "Treat", "Snack","Dinner" "Bone" etc., they are all good and useful words. I mean hey, who doesn't want to know when there is something to eat available, right? But, "heel?" Are you kidding me with this? No self-respecting Corgi heeeeeels. Oh, hell no.

Hmmm. I think they are ordering Chinese for dinner. Maybe I can scam a piece of Moo Shu Pork....gotta scamper!

June 26
I am having a bit of a communication "issue" with mom. She does not quite seem to comprehend my desire for fame and fortune. Not sure what I have to do to get her to focus...maybe get her away from all the candle fumes first....but she just seems to think I am going to be content with long walks and games of chase in the backyard. IN THE BACKYARD WHERE NO ONE CAN SEE HOW GORGEOUS AND SEXY I AM!!

Is she nuts? The world awaits all the glories that are ME...and she keeps me in the back yard or in the house, or in the car...in, in, in.

Humpf! An annoyed Corgi is a biped's worst nightmare. Just wait until she goes to the closet tomorrow for her favorite pair of running shoes.

Heh. Heh. Heh. Oh yeah. Operation Sexy Butt Needs An Agent goes into motion tomorrow!

June 21
Hey! Did you know that these darn geckos have their own commercials on that black box my bipeds call "TV"? I am pea green with Corgi envy! I am SO much better looking than these geckos. How is it that a lizard gets top billing over a dog/god? I have a gorgeous white ruff, a really sexy butt, a great face - ohmygod you should really see my face without these sunglasses. HOT! I am HOT! WOOFALICIOUS! My eyes are my best feature. And no, I don't need masacara, thank you very much! But oh no, the lizards get fame and fortune while I get a chew bone in the back yard. OK, well, maybe several chew bones, a couple of squeaky toys, a new tennis ball, Pupperoni treats....and YAMS with dinner! I LOVE YAMS! (Did I already mention that?)

Come to think of it, I don't see the Geckos getting any treats in their commercials. Nary a yam in sight. Hmmm. Maybe this fame thing isn't such a great idea after all. I cannot bear the thought of a yam-free life. Hmm. Food for further thought.

June 13
I feel like Elaine in an old Seinfeld episode: "The heat. My god, the heat!"
My furry white ruff is a wee bit limp these days. Who invented humidity again? God? Dog? Who?
Thank dogness for tile floors. Man, they are the best, Jerry, the best!
Oh, Mom saw me talking with the cat this morning. She froze in the hallway and gave me that "What are you up to?" look.
The cat and I stared back at her, studiously ignoring one another. Silence reigned. Mom waited a moment more...then moved on. I looked back up at Winnie and hissed "So....the catnip is really that good?" And she purred back "It's the BOMB babycakes, the BOMB." Hmmm. Better than Pupperoni? How is anything better than Pupperoni? I am agog.

May 31
Long time no write, huh? Well, I have been busy. Very, very busy. I have discovered The Gecko. Pouncing has become my newest favorite-est pasttime. You can't catch a Gecko by chasing it...nope. Gotta get right up behind it and then POUNCE! POUNCE! POUNCE! Even then they are slippery little suckers. Oh, and napping. I take several naps a day. I have different napping stations located throughout the house. Gotta be positioned just right for maximum snoozing AND YET I also need to be able to leap up immediately when the word "WALK" is uttered by either of my bipeds. Yup. It's a pretty hectic schedule these days....pouncing, napping, walking my peeps so they get enough exercise.... 

Dad was at Palatka for the Blue Crab Festival this past weekend and he told me that he had a great time meeting all of my fans! He said people were very complimentary about my glamour shot on the company logo. I just wanted to take a time out from my busy POUNCING schedule to preen a little bit here and acknowledge all of my wicked cool fans and thank all of you for buying my picture. And isn't it cool that a candle comes with my picture as an added bonus? You can hang my picture up and light the candle underneath it....sort of like a shrine to ME!!!  I thought that was a smart idea of mom's.
You know, the candle thing.

My newest treat discovery is cherry popsicles. I LOVE CHERRY POPSICLES!. Licking them keeps me cool. Turns my tongue a funny color but mom says that girl dogs will think it makes me look sexy. Hey! I am all about SEXY! You know, speaking of sexy, we Corgis have the sexiest butts of any dog species. Yup. It's a known FACT. A FACT. Cute, sexy butt. Yup. I am looking at mine in the mirror and it is TRUE!. Sing along with me now: "I'm too sexy for my butt!" HAHAHAHAHA!

We Corgis are just cool. Wicked Cool. (Although I do still daydream about the greyhound who smooched me at the Siesta Fiesta...so I guess Greyhounds can be cool, too.)

May 9
I am a herding dog and I want to herd the cat, but mom won't let me. This is very disheartening. Why doesn't she understand that I have needs? You would think she would realize that I do not want to actually eat the cat,
I merely want to herd her into the corner and bark at her....for practice. Really. Just to keep my natural instincts
honed to a razor sharp edge.

I would not want to be embarrassed in front of other Corgis that I might  meet on my daily jaunts about the neighborhood. You never know when one of them might throw down a challenge in Welsh and I've gotta step up, man, I've gotta step up....you never, ever know.

Look, it isn't as if there are any sheep around here. I need to work with what is available. Hmmm...maybe late tonight when mom is busy pouring candles I can sneak into the bedroom and scare the cat off the bed....get her to run so I can practice my newest "Chasing Technique"....skidding around corners on the tips of my toenails so my bum doesn't slide out from under me again....(because my idiot biped parents don't have carpeting in the house due to something called "allergies").... well...I will see what I can manage.

Hey, any of you got any kids you need help cornering? I can put my shoulder into them at a dead run and herd them right back to the house for you....'cause I'm gooooooood.

Yeah. I need to work on the cat situation. Get this house under control. Let my mom know who is boss around here once and for all. Woof.

April 24
SO! There I was at the Siesta Fiesta this past Saturday and can we woof a minute here? It was HOT. Damn HOT! I wear real fur, mind you (kept my eyes peeled for the PETA people...). By 1pm I was giving my mom "THE STARE" and wondering when the heck we were going to go home and lay about in the AC. However I must admit that before the heat kicked in I was thrilled to be meeting all of the interesting bipeds who came by to see me. Why do male bipeds wear dark socks with sandals? That was kinda confusing. Personally, I think going barefoot is the BOMB. OH! Did I tell you yet? I fell in love with one of the Greyhound rescue dogs...boyohboyohboy was she a hottie! Longest gams I ever saw...and I think she liked me too because she gave me a wet nose kiss. Whoooooo Hooooooo! But I quickly surmised that a relationship would be untenable between us due to the height factor. I know I am a shorty, but really, I barely cleared my lady love's knees... well, you can imagine the rest of the, um, "technical" difficulties involved. Sigh. (Cute knees, too!)

That night, after the Siesta Fiesta closed down, I got in the car and slept on mom's lap the whole way home. I must have nosed a hundred of my favorite fans and I gotta tell ya, I was ready for some serious corgi snoozing...you know, on the back, paws going to the right, head hanging to the left, snoring up a storm. My peeps (mom and dad) seem to find this "cute". They are SO immature!
I didn't even want to go for my nine o'clock evening pawstitutional (intellectual dog lingo for the word "walk") that night. This being the case I got to stay home on Sunday 'cause mom said so. She said the heat was too much for me and she wanted me to nap and stay cool all day!! (Besides herding my own goat, getting to be lazy and cool is a Corgi's dream job.) So I got to lounge with Grandpa on the sofa and watch baseball. Grandpa's wicked cool. He sneaks me little snacks when mom and dad aren't around. Heh heh heh. I LOVE SNACKS!!!!

How many dogs does it take to...... These are the answers from dogs when asked "How many dogs does it take to put in a light bulb?"

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!
Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . .
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

Did you ever wonder why dogs have wet noses? Hmmm

When Good Dogs Go and Crossbreed:

Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog prone to awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
Cocker Spaniel + Rottweiller = Cockrot, the perfect puppy for that philandering ex-husband
Bull Terrier + Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed

"It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm wearing milk bone underwear!"
- Norm Peterson (Cheers)